ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
