You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
