Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You made out with two different species that night
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
