I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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