i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So vagazzling was a success
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
