In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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