It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
