2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
