i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Girls should come with a carfax report
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
