anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
