I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
