Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i now understand why vodka
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
