So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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