I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm just crazy horny about you
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
why does every cop we meet know your name?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
