I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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