All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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