whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
