You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
