Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You are a genius and a whore.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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