he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
