Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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