i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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