I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
