Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
