Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
how can u be prego again
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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