i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
