So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
