There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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