I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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