Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
