I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
