So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
