franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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