Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
