i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
