I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
