I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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