oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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