He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
