It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
