Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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