Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
