I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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