My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
