He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
