My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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