lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
