CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
