I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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