I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You are a genius and a whore.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
